Last week, at bible study, the question came up, what area have you matured or grown in the past year?
For me, it was a no-brain-er....Forgiveness!
Oh, the ugliness of un-forgiveness, it drains me of energy, sucks the living joy and life from a person like a leach.
I know this from experience. It is not fun or pretty. I have wasted minutes,days,months and even years, holding tightly onto baggage that should have been shed long ago.
God has taught me some truths about forgiveness that has really helped me understand what it is...
The definition I like to use for forgiveness is: WHEN YOU GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO GET EVEN.
When you forgive someone (giving up the right to get even with them.) It does NOT mean...
*What happened didn't matter. It does matter...it matters to you and to God.
*That you trust the individual. You can forgive someone and not trust them.
*That you forget. There are experiences that will happen in your life that you will never forget even though you have forgiven.
These truths have helped me with the challenge of forgiving. I have found when I have "given up the right to get even" a tremendous weight has lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I have set something or someone free...and I find out it is ME.
Talk to God about it, share with HIM your struggle in this area. HE so wants to help you with this....let Him carry this for you. We were not meant to haul backpacks of un-forgiveness around, weighting us down and eating at us like a cancer.
Do you struggle with this? More on this topic and how to live in forgiveness daily, this week.
www.sueheimer.com
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"Go to your room!"
"Go to your room, young man!"
These words formed on my lips frequently over the years of child-rearing.
They meant....you go (to your room)think about what you did, said or done....and then we will "talk".
Yesterday, in the middle of a conversation, I sent MYSELF to my room! I needed a time-out. To think about what I was about to say or do!
As I lay on my bed, my first thoughts were to throw a pity party, with ME being the only party-goer present. I struggled with my feelings and emotions over a situation with one of my sons. Thoughts of being "taken advantage" of flooded my mind....that spun into "nobody appreciates me"....Oh, the party I threw for myself...It just got bigger and bigger, as it continued.
Then God:
Gentle reminded me that:
I am loved, and He truly delights in me. He wants to give me wisdom to deal with all situations with my family. The party had to stop, and I needed to listen.
So, listen I did, then I proceeded to seek out my son. I told him, calmly, that I was sorry for MY reaction to him. I asked his forgiveness. After confessing this to him, I told him how I was feeling taken for granted.
He apologized, and we hugged.
It turned out to be a good day. All because I sent myself to my room.
Have you ever had to send yourself to you "room"?
www.sueheimer.com
These words formed on my lips frequently over the years of child-rearing.
They meant....you go (to your room)think about what you did, said or done....and then we will "talk".
Yesterday, in the middle of a conversation, I sent MYSELF to my room! I needed a time-out. To think about what I was about to say or do!
As I lay on my bed, my first thoughts were to throw a pity party, with ME being the only party-goer present. I struggled with my feelings and emotions over a situation with one of my sons. Thoughts of being "taken advantage" of flooded my mind....that spun into "nobody appreciates me"....Oh, the party I threw for myself...It just got bigger and bigger, as it continued.
Then God:
Gentle reminded me that:
I am loved, and He truly delights in me. He wants to give me wisdom to deal with all situations with my family. The party had to stop, and I needed to listen.
So, listen I did, then I proceeded to seek out my son. I told him, calmly, that I was sorry for MY reaction to him. I asked his forgiveness. After confessing this to him, I told him how I was feeling taken for granted.
He apologized, and we hugged.
It turned out to be a good day. All because I sent myself to my room.
Have you ever had to send yourself to you "room"?
www.sueheimer.com
Monday, September 21, 2009
Quote from Abraham Lincoln
I read this quote this week at it really spoke to my heart.
"Whatever you are....be a GOOD one!" Abraham Lincoln
It challenged me.... What am I?
I am a:
Christian
Wife
Mother
Lover
Friend
Sister
Speaker
Writer
Business woman
And the list could go on and on....
Dear Friend,
Whatever you are...BE A GOOD ONE today!
www.sueheimer.com
"Whatever you are....be a GOOD one!" Abraham Lincoln
It challenged me.... What am I?
I am a:
Christian
Wife
Mother
Lover
Friend
Sister
Speaker
Writer
Business woman
And the list could go on and on....
Dear Friend,
Whatever you are...BE A GOOD ONE today!
www.sueheimer.com
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Fog and motherhood
Here in central Illinois we have been having heavy fog in the early morning.
While driving in said fog a few days ago, I encountered 2 deer that jumped out in front of me. They could have easily become "hood ornaments" for my suburban.
I have been processing that near mishap for several days now. Sometimes things happen to me that stay with me...this was one of them.
The fog, deer and raising kids....what is the connection?
In the midst of the fog that morning, I was very intentional in my driving. Alert and engaged are accurate words to describe my response to the lack of visibility of the road thus, no venison entrapped in the grill of my vehicle. (Meat for dinner was already thawing at home and road kill was not on the menu).
This is so true in motherhood. There are many days I walk around in a fog...whether toddlers or teens, lack of sleep,endless demands or to-do lists, a blurred sense of direction and purpose of being a mom can easily cloud our vision.
Driving in the fog that morning, I blocked out anything that would distract me and take me away from focusing on the task at hand. As a mom, am I challenged myself this morning to look for things in my life that dim my visibility and vision of motherhood. I prayed for help to be alert and aware of choices or situations that surround me or my family that distract me from the mom I want to be.
www.sueheimer.com
While driving in said fog a few days ago, I encountered 2 deer that jumped out in front of me. They could have easily become "hood ornaments" for my suburban.
I have been processing that near mishap for several days now. Sometimes things happen to me that stay with me...this was one of them.
The fog, deer and raising kids....what is the connection?
In the midst of the fog that morning, I was very intentional in my driving. Alert and engaged are accurate words to describe my response to the lack of visibility of the road thus, no venison entrapped in the grill of my vehicle. (Meat for dinner was already thawing at home and road kill was not on the menu).
This is so true in motherhood. There are many days I walk around in a fog...whether toddlers or teens, lack of sleep,endless demands or to-do lists, a blurred sense of direction and purpose of being a mom can easily cloud our vision.
Driving in the fog that morning, I blocked out anything that would distract me and take me away from focusing on the task at hand. As a mom, am I challenged myself this morning to look for things in my life that dim my visibility and vision of motherhood. I prayed for help to be alert and aware of choices or situations that surround me or my family that distract me from the mom I want to be.
www.sueheimer.com
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Love Languages continued
When Curt and I were first married, I had not even heard of "Love languages". This could have alleviated allot of hurt and confusion in our communication with each other.
For instance, shortly after we were married, I went shopping and bought a shirt and pants for Curt. With our finances being tight, gifts were a rarity, so I was very excited to present him with this new set of clothes.
When he arrived home from work, I eagerly thrust the gift bag out to him. He opened it and sighed.
"Its nice," he said, with little enthusiasm. "I really don't need it, can it be returned?"
I was crushed!!! And Curt could not understand why!!
As the years rolled by and I studied the "love languages" I realized that "Gifts" DO NOT speak his language. He was not trying to hurt my feelings..in his mind he didn't need new clothes or any gifts for that matter. A gift just did not fill his love tank!
His "love languages" are "Acts of Service" and "Words of Affirmation".
When I get up and make his lunch each day, pay the bills on time, having clean underwear and socks for him...all this spells "I Love You" to him!
When I tell him that he is a wonderful husband,dad,lover,provider,warrior and best friend...I know it has "LOVE YOU" written all over the words...
What is the love language of your husband?
www.sueheimer.com
For instance, shortly after we were married, I went shopping and bought a shirt and pants for Curt. With our finances being tight, gifts were a rarity, so I was very excited to present him with this new set of clothes.
When he arrived home from work, I eagerly thrust the gift bag out to him. He opened it and sighed.
"Its nice," he said, with little enthusiasm. "I really don't need it, can it be returned?"
I was crushed!!! And Curt could not understand why!!
As the years rolled by and I studied the "love languages" I realized that "Gifts" DO NOT speak his language. He was not trying to hurt my feelings..in his mind he didn't need new clothes or any gifts for that matter. A gift just did not fill his love tank!
His "love languages" are "Acts of Service" and "Words of Affirmation".
When I get up and make his lunch each day, pay the bills on time, having clean underwear and socks for him...all this spells "I Love You" to him!
When I tell him that he is a wonderful husband,dad,lover,provider,warrior and best friend...I know it has "LOVE YOU" written all over the words...
What is the love language of your husband?
www.sueheimer.com
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
LOVE LANGUAGES
Hello again....Yes, I have been away. I had the privilege of going to Florida last week where I met my mom and sister at a spa. It was GLORIOUS!
Why Florida and why a spa?
Two simple words...LOVE LANGUAGE
Last February I started thinking about what I would like to give my mom for her 70th birthday, which is this month. What would really mean allot to her? I pulled the well worn,dog-eared book from my self that has been a great help and inspiration for me for several years.
The Five Love Languages: by Gary Chapman
It is on my Must read list...Gary Chapman talks about the 5 love languages that communicate love to others and how to speak these languages.
The 5 are:
#1 Words of Affirmation
#2 Physical Touch
#3 Quality Time
#4 Acts of Service
#5 Gifts
His books encourages study of the languages and which ones are dominant in your loved ones life. It is fascinating and it WORKS....
One of my Mother's primary love languages is "Quality time". So hence, a trip to Florida was planned, time together...laughing,sharing,hanging out...it spoke her language...she felt loved and I was extremely blessed.
More on Love languages this week......
Come visit me at: www.sueheimer.com
Why Florida and why a spa?
Two simple words...LOVE LANGUAGE
Last February I started thinking about what I would like to give my mom for her 70th birthday, which is this month. What would really mean allot to her? I pulled the well worn,dog-eared book from my self that has been a great help and inspiration for me for several years.
The Five Love Languages: by Gary Chapman
It is on my Must read list...Gary Chapman talks about the 5 love languages that communicate love to others and how to speak these languages.
The 5 are:
#1 Words of Affirmation
#2 Physical Touch
#3 Quality Time
#4 Acts of Service
#5 Gifts
His books encourages study of the languages and which ones are dominant in your loved ones life. It is fascinating and it WORKS....
One of my Mother's primary love languages is "Quality time". So hence, a trip to Florida was planned, time together...laughing,sharing,hanging out...it spoke her language...she felt loved and I was extremely blessed.
More on Love languages this week......
Come visit me at: www.sueheimer.com
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