Saturday night, Valentines eve, was sweet. My husband presented me with fragrant perfume, I gave him new slippers. Not original gifts, but after 25 years of marriage, we know each other. It was perfect.
Then Sunday came.
Valentine's Day.
I was scheduled to work at the hospital. I have the privilege to be part of the Labor and Delivery Unit.
And on that brisk, sunny, Sunday, we lost a baby.
Somehow, the grieving couple's pain becomes yours, and the "they" turns into "WE".
It is so hard. I weep as I type these words.
The baby, a beautiful boy, was perfect.
Our staff wept openly. Then I stepped into a storage room and cried out to God.
"I need to know....WHY?"
So, today, Tuesday, I am making Peace with the "Need to know".
And clinging to what I do know!!
Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains move and the hills shake, My love with not be removed from you.
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I can't fathom such grief, as losing a child, but it's good to know parents have caring people like yourself around them during such times. As you say, clinging to what we do know is the only way to get through hard places.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, but you immediately sought God. Even in asking "Why" we are acknowledging that He knows the pain of where the question is coming from. Resting in that fact is the only way to peace.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend lost a child and I asked God that same question. Three years later and she has a ministry that reaches out to women who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss. God works all such things together for good, just like He promised Romans 8:28
ReplyDeletePeace with the need to know is a hard but beautiful thing. It's more long lasting than any platitude.
ReplyDeletewow. What's most incredible to me is your desire to make peace with the need to know... I have some dear friends who lost their baby last year and they too have been inspiring at trusting God in the things they do not know. They're pregnant again and we're all learning that lesson together. Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteOh...I am a nurse too, and you can't help but come back to this grappling over and over. Suffering is something we can never gloss over...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this!
Melissa
Dear Friends, Thank YOU! Your words of encouragement and comfort were a healing balm to my heart.
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ReplyDeleteMy cousin lost her baby on Sunday too. She was 8 and a half months along and had gotten a 4D ultrasound just a few days earlier. She found out the baby had passed and went through her first delivery knowing she would not be able to welcome her into the world. A beautiful baby girl...just perfect. But now she is with God :)
ReplyDeleteDear Sue,
ReplyDeleteHaving just delivered a perfect baby boy in your delivery unit a month ago, this post hit close and I am SO sad for this poor family. So often when these tragedies occur, I want to know why but I think God knows I probably wouldn't even understand the answer if He shared with me the reasons now.
There is a song I love that describes what you've written. The words that have always ministered to me are, "You know better than I. you know the way. I've let go the need to know why because You know better than I."
I love you and pray that God will heal all of your hearts too.
love,
rebekah
Meg-Thanks for sharing about your cousin. I will praying for them!
ReplyDeleteRebekah, The song touched my heart...thanks!